Funny Would You Rather Questions

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Cards come out in a random order and never repeat until you have seen the whole category. The deck has 594 original cards across 7 categories, written for this site. How the randomness works.

The full list

Silly, absurd and a little ridiculous. Pick the lesser of two very strange evils and try to defend it with a straight face.

1. Would you rather have spaghetti for hair or have meatballs for knuckles?
2. Would you rather smell like onions all day or smell like a wet dog for an hour every morning?
3. Would you rather quack every time you laugh or moo every time you sneeze?
4. Would you rather wear clown shoes to every wedding or wear a cape to every job interview?
5. Would you rather have a tiny horse follow you everywhere or have a giant duck follow you everywhere?
6. Would you rather speak only in questions for a week or end every sentence with "said the pirate"?
7. Would you rather have a doorbell that plays a kazoo solo or have a car horn that yells "excuse me, friend"?
8. Would you rather sit on a whoopee cushion at every meal or have your chair squeak loudly every time you move?
9. Would you rather be chased by 100 duck-sized horses or be chased by one horse-sized duck?
10. Would you rather have fingers made of breadsticks or have toes made of gummy worms?
11. Would you rather narrate your life out loud in a movie trailer voice or have a laugh track follow you everywhere?
12. Would you rather wear socks on your hands for a month or wear mittens on your feet for a month?
13. Would you rather burp confetti or cough tiny bubbles?
14. Would you rather have a nose that honks when touched or have ears that wiggle when you lie?
15. Would you rather live in a bouncy castle or live in a ball pit?
16. Would you rather have your only shoes be roller skates or have your only chair be a yoga ball?
17. Would you rather always walk like a crab or always hop like a kangaroo?
18. Would you rather have a parrot that repeats your secrets or have a goat that eats your homework?
19. Would you rather dance every time you hear a phone ring or freeze like a statue whenever someone says "banana"?
20. Would you rather sneeze so loud it sets off car alarms or yawn so wide people can see your lunch?
21. Would you rather eat soup with a fork or eat cereal with chopsticks?
22. Would you rather have a mustache made of real caterpillars that behave politely or have eyebrows that grow a foot overnight?
23. Would you rather wear a full suit of armor to the grocery store or wear a scuba suit to a dinner party?
24. Would you rather have your stomach growl in a robot voice or have your knees crack in a drumbeat?
25. Would you rather be followed by a marching band or be followed by a mime who copies you?
26. Would you rather turn into a pickle every Monday or turn into a potato every Friday?
27. Would you rather have a pet rock that talks back or have a houseplant that gossips?
28. Would you rather only travel by pogo stick or only travel by shopping cart pushed by a friend?
29. Would you rather fight off a swarm of angry seagulls or outrun a flock of grumpy geese?
30. Would you rather have a sneeze that sounds like a trumpet or have a laugh that sounds like a donkey?
31. Would you rather wear a tutu to the dentist or wear a tuxedo to the beach?
32. Would you rather have a tail that wags when you are happy or have ears that droop when you are sad?
33. Would you rather be a famous opera singer who only sings about cheese or be a famous rapper who only raps about socks?
34. Would you rather have a head shaped like a light bulb or have feet shaped like flippers?
35. Would you rather wake up with your hair glued in a mohawk or wake up with your eyebrows drawn on in marker?
36. Would you rather eat a sandwich made of pancakes and pickles or eat ice cream topped with ketchup?
37. Would you rather wear a hat made of lettuce for a day or wear a necklace of cold spaghetti for an hour?
38. Would you rather have every door you open say "welcome!" in a loud voice or have every chair you sit on say "oof"?
39. Would you rather be the size of a teacup or be the size of a giraffe?
40. Would you rather have a nose that whistles when you breathe or have shoes that squeak on every step?
41. Would you rather speak in a fake British accent forever or speak like an old-time radio announcer forever?
42. Would you rather have fish for a pet that tells bad puns or have a dog that rolls its eyes at you?
43. Would you rather lose all your hair or have hair that grows 1 foot every day?
44. Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with a mime or be stuck on a desert island with a person who only hums?
45. Would you rather only eat food shaped like stars or only eat food colored green?
46. Would you rather have your voice sound like a chipmunk or have your voice sound like a foghorn?
47. Would you rather get stuck in a giant marshmallow or get stuck in a giant bowl of wobbly gelatin?
48. Would you rather wear your clothes inside out forever or wear your clothes backward forever?
49. Would you rather have a cow as your roommate or have a llama as your coworker?
50. Would you rather ride a unicycle to school or work or ride a tricycle to school or work?
51. Would you rather have a pet penguin that hates cold or have a pet camel that hates sand?
52. Would you rather be a wizard whose spells only make pancakes or be a superhero whose only power is folding laundry?
53. Would you rather only be able to whisper-sing or only be able to talk in a robot voice?
54. Would you rather have a giant zit that sings or have a hiccup that lasts one full day?
55. Would you rather moonwalk everywhere or cartwheel everywhere?
56. Would you rather have a doorbell that is a live rooster or have an alarm clock that is a live goose?
57. Would you rather have a forehead that lights up when you think or have cheeks that puff up when you are hungry?
58. Would you rather be famous for the world's longest burp contest win or be famous for the world's weirdest sandwich?
59. Would you rather have an elbow that tells jokes or have a knee that gives advice?
60. Would you rather dress like a banana for a week or dress like a hot dog for a week?
61. Would you rather live inside a giant sock or live inside a giant shoe?
62. Would you rather have your mom narrate your bike rides or have your grandpa narrate your sports games?
63. Would you rather eat a bowl of cereal made of tiny meatballs or eat a pizza topped with gummy bears?
64. Would you rather have a sock puppet do all your talking or have a sign language interpreter who only uses dance moves?
65. Would you rather always smell like popcorn or always smell like fresh-cut grass?
66. Would you rather be a dog that can drive or be a cat that can cook?
67. Would you rather have a squeaky toy for a nose or have a kazoo for a voice?
68. Would you rather step on a sticky floor in bare feet or put on a sock that is mysteriously damp?
69. Would you rather always have to hop on one foot in lines or always have to say "beep beep" when you back up?
70. Would you rather lose a staring contest to a goldfish or lose an arm-wrestling match to a toddler?
71. Would you rather be chased by a polite tiger or be hugged by a grumpy bear?
72. Would you rather sleep in a bed of jelly beans or sleep in a bed of cotton candy?
73. Would you rather have a llama spit on you once or have a seagull steal your sandwich every day?
74. Would you rather have pockets full of pudding or have shoes full of oatmeal?
75. Would you rather have a turtle as your race car or have a snail as your mail carrier?
76. Would you rather be in a band that only plays spoons or be in a band that only plays rubber chickens?
77. Would you rather have to clap before every sentence or have to bow after every sentence?
78. Would you rather communicate only with interpretive dance or communicate only with a slide show presentation?
79. Would you rather turn into a balloon when nervous or turn into a pumpkin at midnight?
80. Would you rather have a squirrel that steals your socks or have a raccoon that rearranges your fridge?
81. Would you rather wear swim goggles to every meeting or wear a snorkel to every dinner?
82. Would you rather have a dinosaur as a babysitter or have a robot that only speaks in knock-knock jokes as a tutor?
83. Would you rather laugh like a hyena or cry like a baby goat?
84. Would you rather have legs that bend backward like a flamingo or have arms like noodles?
85. Would you rather fall asleep every time someone says "sandwich" or shout "taco!" every time someone says your name?
86. Would you rather eat a whole raw onion like an apple or drink a glass of pickle juice in one go?
87. Would you rather have your teeth glow in the dark or have your toenails play music when tapped?
88. Would you rather be a pirate afraid of water or be a ninja who trips over everything?
89. Would you rather have a personal hype man or have a personal grumpy critic?
90. Would you rather have a burp that sounds like a doorbell or have a sneeze that sounds like a cat?
91. Would you rather find a frog in your cereal box or find a sock in your sandwich?
92. Would you rather have a talking spoon that complains about soup or have a fork that sings opera?

More categories

• Classic111 cards
• For Kids94 cards
• Hard81 cards
• For Couples72 cards
• For Work72 cards
• For Adults (Clean)72 cards